England’s New King and Queen Crowned to Mixed Reviews

Britain and its Commonwealth has crowned a new king, in a splashy, multimillion dollar affair plagued by royal family drama, low poll numbers, and public protesters, whose ‘#NotMyKing’ slogan is still trending on Twitter.

The oldest intern in the world, Charles of Windsor, has finally secured his position as ‘top dog’ in the complicated and archaic world of English royalty. While, history buffs cannot help but be impressed that the same church, Westminster Abbey, has had the sole honor of being the place English monarchs are crowned since William the Conqueror on Christmas Day of 1066, many are left wondering why a largely ‘Democratic’ nation still needs such a figurehead.

What. A. Day.

Thank you to everyone who made it happen #Coronation pic.twitter.com/qaYFXSjjli

— The Prince and Princess of Wales (@KensingtonRoyal) May 6, 2023

When Charles mum, Elizabeth II, was crowned in 1953, the BBC estimated more than one-third of the entire country watched on the ‘telly’. In contrast, when her son was crowned on Saturday, the viewership peaked at just over 20 million, with a reported worldwide viewership of 400 million.

King Charles III made his Coronation oath on the Holy Bible before being anointed with sacred oil blessed in Jerusalem at the service at the ancient Westminster Abbey in London on Saturday morning. pic.twitter.com/h5WnMW3v96

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) May 8, 2023

It is bewildering for Americans to consider that so much pomp and circumstance surrounds the monarchy to this day, despite the well-known fact that the royal family at large live completely outside of the laws their subjects are subject to at the expense of the same. Just one example is the fact that Charles was not required to pay the “Inheritance Tax” demanded of all other Brits, on the sizable estate he inherited from his mother when she passed. At a whopping 40%, had Charles been required to pay, that would have been, no doubt, a big boost to England’s economy, but the royal family motto of “never complain, never explain” is strictly adhered to, so the exact details remain shrouded in mystery.

Prince Andrew booed by crowds on The Mall as royal arrives at Coronation in full regalia – despite being stripped of his royal patronageshttps://t.co/mfRDH9pPdZ

— LBC (@LBC) May 6, 2023

People will never forget how Charles and Camilla treated Princess Diana #NotMyKing #PrincessDiana pic.twitter.com/dq0fhyIajB

— Anna (@Anna__with_an_A) May 2, 2023

The fact that Charles’s long-time lover, a divorceé who made life hell for his first wife, the late Princess Diana, was crowned alongside him, has only served to further alienate him from his ‘subjects’, who will never forget Diana, and added fuel to the fire for the many outspoken anti-monarchists lining the coronation route. Charles’s great-uncle, Edward VIII, famously abdicated as king in 1936, so he could marry the love of his life, a twice-divorced American, Wallis Simpson, but Charles has no such sense of decency, and his behavior openly demonstrates his contempt for anyone who disagrees.

The organisers of the #notmyking protest have been arrested – police won’t say what for pic.twitter.com/qu5JgNhCgF

— Alliance of European Republican Movements (@AERMorg) May 6, 2023

This coronation feels like a celebration of another woman’s betrayal trauma, and for many of us with betrayal trauma of our own, celebrating Charles and Camilla is simply impossible. If this is you, be sure to take care of yourself this weekend, and keep Diana in your thoughts.… pic.twitter.com/FdnKjhKqaq

— Rebecah Boynton (@becboynton) May 5, 2023

Charles is, quite obviously, a man-child struggling to fill his mother’s steadfast, wholesome shoes, and still somehow he seems woefully unprepared for the job he’s had decades to prepare for. Unfortunately for freedom-loving Brits, the new king seems intent on being involved in politics, despite “The Firm’s” previous penchant for appearing impartial. Charles has no such qualms about vocalizing his support for his pet projects, like climate change, and he has proven himself to be the ultimate, spoiled Soy Boy, as he grows his own food, and refuses to eat anything that wasn’t grown in his garden.

What a great accomplishment for King Charles… turning a common garden tool into a Queen. pic.twitter.com/rNELHHAeqP

— greg. 🌸 (@mistergeezy) May 6, 2023

The flagging poll numbers and overall lackluster interest in the coronation ceremonies are indicative of what’s to come, and people are ever more aware of the fact that this man’s sole qualification to be King of a nation and its commonwealth nations was — being born first. If that seems ludicrous, it is because it is ludicrous. And archaic. And a touch tyrannical.

God save us all.